A few questions that I need to know
how you could ever hurt me so
I need to know what I've done wrong
and how long it's been going on
Was it that I never paid enough attention?
Or did I not give enough affection?
Not only will your answers keep me sane
but I'll know never to make the same mistake again
You can tell me to my face or even on the phone
You can write it in a letter, either way, I have to know
Did I never treat you right?
Did I always start the fight?
Either way, I'm going out of my mind
all the answers to my questions
I have to find

i had lots of fun with my friends Jennifer David and Russel tonight get fun guys we must do it again sometime soon. And i mean everything! maybe for my birthday??

ok im sleepy

[	mood	|	contemplative	]
[	music	|	Pieces of me- Ashlee Simpson	]

"its expected".. We are all expected to do certian things in life... Go to school, Get married, Have kids, ect. But when someone doesnt comform to this critera we all look at them funny. Why is that, who made the rules that say we have to do certain things? One thing i have never been able to understand is why people make such a big deal about sex... i mean why is it the bases of a relationship.. it shouldnt be its really messed up that it is becuase when people lose them selves in that they mess out on small things that mean so much more! Why are people programed to do certain things! why are we sterotyped as certain things? I mean who cares if a black person listens to Rock music and wheres weird close. I mean why does it matter and why do we call them a sell out? who are we selling out to? ourselves? other people? who cares about other people... Other people are stupid! Why are Black people programed to think that they are supposed to be ghetto why is that. Why is it that Black people frown on prospertey(sp) but smile at debt? Who decied what people were going to think? that is my problem with life i guess im niave or sumthing b/c i just think that people should be able be who ever they want to be without other people bothering them.

[	mood	|	chipper	]
[	music	|	Breakdown-Mariah Carey	]

Since i dont have my diary any more i have to do my year round up on here. Well my thoughts about the year are this... I am not ashamed of love and i never ever will be i refuse to do that. The one thing i did do this year right was fall in love and i have to say that i do like it... i mean yes love has alot of stupid hang ups and fights and dumb stuff but i still wouldnt trade it for anything! Why is it that girls need love so badly? Ellen tryed to tell me that love wasnt needed and she also tryed to prove it to herself but she couldnt because everybody needs love... As cheesy as that may sound love is what makes the world go around. Sometimes i wonder about people who never get marryed, is it becuase they couldnt find anyone or is it b/c nobody could find them? I have been watching sex in the city like every day lately and i wonder what makes girls search so hard from guy to guy? i mean why do girls want prefection, im not saying im not guilty of this becuase i expect Deldrick to be perfect which he is no where close to... Im just asking why is it that girls have this idea that men are supposed to be perfect... Is it the whole fairy tale thing, i mean price charming comes and saves us? what is that... I may be even more messed up in my head then ever but one thing that i do know now is that u have to love someone or u will go Crazy! ... hopefully when i turn 17 i will finaly figure out who i am and grow up... NO why did i just say that i do not want to grow up yet b/c once i grow up ill have to stay there i wont be able to come back and play Barbies with casey or nething ya know...

Just sum thoughts ya know

[	mood	|	flirty	]
[	music	|	my Happy ending - Avril (yes i know)	]

Well lets talk about summer school! All last weekend i had been so excited about going to summer school until sunday night when i realised i would have to wake up early! Well considering the fact that my parents had already paided for it i got out of bed and got ready ...

Monday: Well monday moring i woke up and put on my blue halter top i just got that weekend and it was super duper cute and i went to wash my hands before i left and SPLAT i got soap all over the front of my shirt! i was so pissed. so i changed into a skirt and another shirt and still looked cute i guess. Well so finally i got to school (i was late!) and went to my class, where i found a room fully of people i didnt know! Well i went to sit down and i looked behind me and there was a boy (we will refert to him as Cost) i knew from school and then i turned around and saw more people who i knew! So the day went on fine and then i went down to lunch and i heard someone yell EISHA! and i looked behind me and it was April from Labay!!!! That was a total wow moment if i do say so myself.

Tuesday: On tuesday i figured out that Cost was sorta feelin this girl that sat behind me so i got kinda sad b/c the day before he  asked me if me and deldrick still went out but of course i said no! well the details of that day are foggy.

Wednesday: who knows i went to school and had fun becuase i deteremened that Cost is the Hotest person in our school and i want him to be like hey Eisha Ur Sexy!

Thursday: Hmm yesturday was fun but see if i tell you what happend then if Cost happended to read this he would know it was him.

Friday: Today we spent the day watching President Regans Funeral on televison. so yeah and Cost was all up on this other girl so thats not important. I went out tonight that was fun

Ok so i quick summary of events: I think Cost is cute i dont know if i like him i just think he is cute. Meanwhile deldrick is trying to drift back into my life and of course i want him around! so i dont know what i should do... But would Cost even like me?

[	mood	|	annoyed	]
[	music	|	Leave (get out)- JoJo	]

   I feel so alone right now and nobody seems to understand why. well im about to explain it to everyone. For one thing im not allowed to go out so im not so close to sabrina any more b/c she would much rather go somewhere then sit at home talkin on the fone to me. (she didnt tell me this... im assuming) Then there Deldrick who has totally abandoned me... well unless he just happends to be at home thats the only time he will call me! But i dont feel like talkin about him right now. I just want someone to hang out with thats all ya know i just want a friend that i can call up and ask what's up ya know... Today was my last part of summer for about two months becuase i have summer school and it really bothered me that i spent it at the mall with my father. im not saying i didnt have fun, becuase i did, im just sayin i would have much rather gone out with a group of friends tonight instead of sit at home ya know. Then i asked casey if she wanted to come over Saturday and she can't and this week and next weekend are then only chances i would have all summer to hang out with her and that really made me mad. I dont know i just hate how i dont have a huge group of friends and that i cant just call one of them to come hang out ya know. Well i know ellen would have done something with me but she is out of town so yeah. Today i was taking a nap and my cell fone rang and it was a girl from work askin if i could come in and i said no. It made me so mad that they always call on me when they need someone to work when im already off that really makes me made b/c i only take days off when i truely need them ya know. And even if she was jokin and it was all in good fun thats not fair to me that my off day gets messed up b/c somebody else didnt come to work. i dont know i really am starting to hate my job b/c i work a lil bit harder than 6.25 an hour ya know. i dont know and then Natasha has been all over me pickin out everything i've done wrong which lately has been alot and im just sick of it im sick of all of it. I seem to mess up alot and i already know i did something wrong with out somebody pointing it out to me. I dont know i guess im done now... this made me feel alot better gosh if only my parents understood why i like to write so much.</font>

[	mood	|	confused	]
[	music	|	Selfish - Nsync	]

Im in love with him and i wont deny that ever! And i want us to be together for the rest of forever but i dont know what to do ya know. I love him so much and i dont want to end our relationship becuase of that fact but then sometimes im like why do i even try ya know. I dont know im sure ill write more later

[	mood	|	artistic	]
[	music	|	The reasons- Hoobastank	]

Pride- I think its cool to belive in yourself ya know but when ur all like "Look at me im Better than you are Looky looky" thats just not even cool.

Envy- Thats a bunch of crap why would somebody Envy someone else i mean if you think somebody is cool or u like something they have try and get it for yourself dont wish you had it ya know.

Gluttony-Ok i eat alot true and maybe this is my one thing ya know but i dont think i over consume? Hmm... But yeah remeber that fat guy on seven that was just nasty!

Lust- Ok yeah yeah i know this is my weak point by far but im really trying to work on that ya know. Because when you lust over something you tend to look past the negative aspects of that person which dont get me is good at times but in other times thats bad really bad

Wrath- I'm a happy person i smile alot ya know and for me it is extremely hard to understand why people can be so angry ya know.. somebody please explain that to me..

Greed- Im not blushing hehe... I AM NOT GREEDY i know im not! and it makes me really mad because people think i am and it seems that only casey and my family understand that! gosh had to clear the air on that. But people who are greedy yall are stupid becuase there are people on this planet that have nothing and that are not as fortunate as we Americans are. So stop being greedy and eat yall your food at dinner..(sorry off the topic)

Sloth-Sloth basically means not keeping your mind and body healthy which in a whole really isnt good because when you dont keep yourself healthy your at risk ya know and that not cool nobody wants to be at risk...

Well that was my randomness as always lol. Gosh im starting to get into the Real World/ Road Rules Inferno talky thing lol so buh bye kidos

[	mood	|	calm	]
[	music	|	you dont want drama-8ball and MJG	]

11. name: Eisha
2. nicknames: EishaWisha
3. sex: Female
4. birthday: July 26th
5. age: 16
6. star sign: Leo the Lion GRRR
7. place of birth: H-town,TX

8. current residence: h-ToWn
9. hair color: Black
10. eye color: Black
11. height: 5'
12. writing hand: right

physical
13. do you bite your nails: yes
14. can you roll your tongue: Yeah Yeah i can!
16. can you raise one eyebrow at a time: no david tried to teach me once
17. can you blow smoke rings: nope
18. can you blow spit bubbles: i dont think i can?
19. can you cross your eyes: yeah

20. colored hair: no
21. tattoos and where: nah
22. piercings and where: my ears... how supercool is that
23. do you make your bed daily: no
24. what goes on first bra or underwear: underpants
25.which shoe goes on first: umm?? the one thats untie
26. speaking of shoes, have you thrown one at someone: yah alot in middle skool
27. how much money is usually in your wallet: um lots of change
28.what jewelry do you wear 24/7: 4 rings ear rings and my cross neckles
29. whats sexiest on a guy: A shinny watch lol
30. whats sexiest on a gurl: um nice clothes i dont know
31. would you rather be on time and look ok or late and look great: um where am i going?
32. do you twirl your spagetti or cut it:: twirly wirly
33. how many cereals are in your cabinet: 2 but only one is mine
34. what utensils do you use eating pizza: hands
35. do you cook: over the summer yah

grooming
36. how often do you brush your teeth: 2 times a day
37. how often do you shower/bathe: once a day
38. how long do these showers last: um 10 to 15 min.
39. hair drying method: blowdryers

50. do you paint your nails: my toes
51. do you swear: yeah but not that much =\
52. do you mumble to yourself: no not really
53. do you spit in public: no way
54. do you pee in the shower: well...
55. in the cd player: Usher Confessions =}
56. person you talk most on the phone with: Deldrick
57. what color is your bedroom: Pink!!!!!
58. do you use an alarm clock: yah
59. name four things you're obsessed with?: sleep, my baby,my sissy,music
60. have you ever skinny dipped with the opposite sex: no
61. ever sunbathed in the nude: no
62. window seat or aisle: window! unless sissy wants its
63. whats your sleeping position: fetal postion
64. what kind of bed do you like: super big!!!!
65. in hot weather do you use a blanket: yes!
66. do you snore: no
67. do you sleepwalk: nope
68. do you talk in your sleep: when im really sick
70. how about the light on: never!
71. do you fall asleep with the tv or radio on: radio
Last time you
72. had sex: hehehe... ill never tell
73. were kissed or kissed someone: um last week
74. watched bambi: bout 10 years ago
75. cried: two days ago
76. talked on the phone: 5 mins ago
78. punched someone: um a week ago
79. where do you see yourself ten years from now: sucessful
80. who are you gonna be married to and where: i dont know the future gosh
81. how many kids do you want to have: 3 or 4
82. your profession: psychologist
83. future school: UTSA then UT
90. is music important to you: Extreamly
91. do you sing?: all the time
92. what instruments do you play?: not ne more
93. in your opinion, what band is the best of all time?:I hate when people ask me that.. thats a super hard question

do you like
95. pop music: yes
96. rock music: no
97. punk music:when im n a weird mood
98. rap music: yes
99. metal: no sir bob
100. country: im black but i have my weird lil moments =\
101. jazz: noooooo
102. classical: no it scares me
103. new age: im not sure what that is but ok
104. hardcore: no way jose
105. indie rock: um...
106. emo: nope to to sad

im going to change for work then lay down for a while. Gosh i kinda wanna look pretty for work b/c that cute guy may be there but i dont know cuz im not n the mood for make up ya know... well bye know kidos